So I'm strolling through blogland this morning, sipping my coffee, and another post got me thinking. Thinking about something I've meant to post on before, but forgot. No, really, I forgot. Really, REALLY.
It's not so much that I forget, although it's happened. It's that I procrastinate. All. The. Time.
I procrastinate paying bills. Always have. When I was a young'n, it was a combination of lack of funds (due to going out dancing) and procrastination, but now, most of the time, it's just putting it off. I'll do it later. K, I'll do it tomorrow. Ah I should pay those bills today. Tomorrow. And, so it goes....
I wonder why I do this. I always feel a great sense of relief when I get something done. I know when I'm not getting something done that needs doing, it weighs on me. I know that the weight will be lifted once I take care of business.
I do it with work too. At work, like with bills, there are clear deadlines. I never miss a work deadline due to my own actions or inaction, but sometimes let it come down to the wire. I am VERY good under pressure.
Parties and entertaining I procrastinate EVERY time. I am always initially pumped to put on a party or host family events at my home, and I'm pretty good at it, but man am I busy at the last minute. All the planning and brainstorming gets done immediately, lists are made to buy this, clean that, make those, and then... nothing. I wait. I can do that tomorrow, oh and that, and that won't take me long, I'll do that later.
Then it starts to build up.
Oh man, I do not want to go in to the laundry room. Those towels have to be soaking wet from that dripping tap I haven't gotten fixed yet. I have to get that fixed! But those towels, oh they're probably gross from being wet. I can't do it without gloves. Tomorrow I'll get gloves for sure and get that done. I can't get anyone to come in and fix the leak with the way that room is, man this water bill is high. I'll wait until pay day next week to pay it since it's not due for two more days.
I remember talking to my son when he was younger about how we sometimes pretend that we forgot to do something and deliberately say, oh I forgot, when we know full well we didn't. I don't know how many times in my life I've said, I'll just tell them I forgot. It was cool because with my boy I could ask him which it was, did you really forget or just choose to not and say you forgot.
Oh crap. What time is it? If I don't get in the shower right now, I'm going to be late for work. Well, maybe I can have a quick shower and not wash my hair. I can do that later, or tomorrow.
Hey! Maybe then I have time for one more cup of coffee....
Showing posts with label lazy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lazy. Show all posts
Wednesday
Saturday
Healthy but sleepy boy born on the 19th day of April, 1990 at 9.07 am
My boy is going to be a non teen in two days. How cool is that.
As I think about him and the man he's become, I feel many things.
I feel love. I feel proud. I feel relieved.
I don't feel regret. I don't feel old. I don't wish I could go back to the days he was a baby or toddler. I made it my goal to grow with him, to be able to let go just the right amounts at just the right times.
I've hauled out his baby book that isn't as loaded as you might imagine an only child's baby book might be. What is in it though are my words from different times throughout his life. An excerpt from when he was "2 3/4 years old" reads Right now you're very close to me and miss me quite a bit when I'm gone. It won't be very many years till you won't so I'll enjoy it until then. My plan is to enjoy you now so when you start to break away it will be o.k..
So far, my plan has worked pretty well. Of course there's a gray area now but I deal with that in my regular way which is to remember what I was like at his age. At his age I was in a very different place. I was well into living on my own and supporting myself, something which I've stated elsewhere was one of my life goals. Although this difference between my son and myself at his age now is significant, there is still much that's the same. I was just as irresponsible and procrastinated as much as he does. I paid bills late and my apartments were a disaster area. When I moved out of my first apartment I had to wash the accumulation of dirty dishes in the bathtub because there were so many and once had to pay to get my phone reconnected because I'd been too lazy to go pay the bill.
So now, I temper my expectations of my son by being as realistic as possible. Yes, he's a grown man. No he's not self supporting. Yes, I was on my own working full time. No, I wasn't in university with the intent to get a degree. Yes, I partied all night, every night and had a great time going out with a bunch of different guys. No, my son is not a party animal, in fact he's a self proclaimed "nerd" (a fact as a mom I vehemently disagree with, of course) and has a girlfriend who I can very well see him being with for the rest of his life.
Here I need to address something which my sister pointed out to me after reading one of my posts about spanking: http://campbellscoup.blogspot.com/2010/03/to-liz-wherever-you-may-be.html
She told me I'd made it sound like he'd been raised by monks which couldn't be further from the truth. He was not raised in a bubble and was exposed to his fair share of bad influences which he somehow managed to choose not to emulate. He's had his piercings (something I didn't object to once he was 18 and have since been removed of his own accord) and is finally on the verge of acquiring his long awaited tattoo, a reproduction of one of my brother's tattoos that holds deep meaning for my son. It will be interesting to see how that goes because one thing's for sure, my boy is not good with pain!
Anyway, for now, even though my boy is grown, I'm still mom and still thinking and figuring out how to do things right. How to not be too intrusive yet still have expectations, how to support without enabling, how to balance friendship and respect in my role as a parent to an adult. Wow, what a thing that is to write out loud.
As I think about him and the man he's become, I feel many things.
I feel love. I feel proud. I feel relieved.
I don't feel regret. I don't feel old. I don't wish I could go back to the days he was a baby or toddler. I made it my goal to grow with him, to be able to let go just the right amounts at just the right times.
I've hauled out his baby book that isn't as loaded as you might imagine an only child's baby book might be. What is in it though are my words from different times throughout his life. An excerpt from when he was "2 3/4 years old" reads Right now you're very close to me and miss me quite a bit when I'm gone. It won't be very many years till you won't so I'll enjoy it until then. My plan is to enjoy you now so when you start to break away it will be o.k..
So far, my plan has worked pretty well. Of course there's a gray area now but I deal with that in my regular way which is to remember what I was like at his age. At his age I was in a very different place. I was well into living on my own and supporting myself, something which I've stated elsewhere was one of my life goals. Although this difference between my son and myself at his age now is significant, there is still much that's the same. I was just as irresponsible and procrastinated as much as he does. I paid bills late and my apartments were a disaster area. When I moved out of my first apartment I had to wash the accumulation of dirty dishes in the bathtub because there were so many and once had to pay to get my phone reconnected because I'd been too lazy to go pay the bill.
So now, I temper my expectations of my son by being as realistic as possible. Yes, he's a grown man. No he's not self supporting. Yes, I was on my own working full time. No, I wasn't in university with the intent to get a degree. Yes, I partied all night, every night and had a great time going out with a bunch of different guys. No, my son is not a party animal, in fact he's a self proclaimed "nerd" (a fact as a mom I vehemently disagree with, of course) and has a girlfriend who I can very well see him being with for the rest of his life.
Here I need to address something which my sister pointed out to me after reading one of my posts about spanking: http://campbellscoup.blogspot.com/2010/03/to-liz-wherever-you-may-be.html
She told me I'd made it sound like he'd been raised by monks which couldn't be further from the truth. He was not raised in a bubble and was exposed to his fair share of bad influences which he somehow managed to choose not to emulate. He's had his piercings (something I didn't object to once he was 18 and have since been removed of his own accord) and is finally on the verge of acquiring his long awaited tattoo, a reproduction of one of my brother's tattoos that holds deep meaning for my son. It will be interesting to see how that goes because one thing's for sure, my boy is not good with pain!
Anyway, for now, even though my boy is grown, I'm still mom and still thinking and figuring out how to do things right. How to not be too intrusive yet still have expectations, how to support without enabling, how to balance friendship and respect in my role as a parent to an adult. Wow, what a thing that is to write out loud.
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