decision .... daycare, not!

 I had a surprise visit today from friends who brought their beautiful new baby for a visit. I'm mentioning this because they told me something I hadn't heard in a while, if ever. They told me that it's important to them to not put their child in daycare. Huh?!?!?!
Amazing. As I write this I'm seriously trying to think of someone else who's said these words to me but I'm getting nothing. See, this was my point of view also, a point of view I've learned to keep to myself. Well, at least tone it down to " well, it's the best thing to do if one's able to economically". I save the "have you ever stopped to think just how much time your child is NOT spending with you?" That the hour or so together in the morning is rarely "quality time" as everyone's rushing, tired, and if you live in some parts of Canada, freezing! That you pick up your kid(s) by 5 and they're in bed by 7 or 8 in which time you've had to feed them, bathe them, check their heads for lice....ok, maybe you don't have to THAT everyday but again, these couple of short hours are not "quality time". I know that sometimes there really is no alternative. Really, I do know this scenario exists but that situation is not what I'm talking about. What I am talking about is the fact that a lot of the time it isn't necessary and that looking after your own babies just doesn't fit into your plans. The plans for 2 cars, a cabin, winter vacations, huge expensive homes, boats, snowmobiles, and all the rest of the unnecessary toys and symbols of success. If you're worried about putting a career on hold wait until you're established to have children. If the toys are that important work opposite shifts of your partner until the kids are in school all day. It's only 6 years!

Our babies are so vulnerable. Who can possibly raise them better than you? Well, some of you. There are those who's children are likely better off in a good daycare than home all day with them, but again, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the regular people who manage to convince themselves that their kids "need" daycare to become socialized, to learn, to ensure they have a parent that's "happy" because they're not stuck at home all day with their kids. Sound harsh? Good, because it's harsh to be passed off to total strangers during some of your most formidable years for no good reason. But, of course, I bet plenty of the parents who opt to utilize daycare for selfish reasons were in daycare themselves...and they turned out just fine.


  1. I must say after browsing around your blog your stance on day care is one of the few things I agree with you on. I find the last several sentences of the post very interesting, especially coming from an adoptee with the stance on adoption that you have.

    "'s harsh to be passed off to total strangers during some of your most formidable years for no good reason"

    I totally agree with you on this. I think this is true of children in general but also and more specifically harsh for the adoptee. I think it's incredibly selfish for people to adopt a child and then turn around and put that child in day care. I believe it's quite a double whamy for a child and speaks volumes of the selfishness and narcissism of the adoptive parents. But hey like you said, they want it all.

  2. Thanks for the comment.

    I get where you're going with it but to me it makes no difference if it's an adoptive parent or a biological parent. If you're able to look after your own kids you should do it. It's not long til they're in school all day.


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