I hate meeces to pieces! Especially the baby ones.

Great news! If your mom didn't want or like you, finally you don't have to take it personally!!

Ana Ribeiro, an author of the study and postdoctoral fellow at Rockefeller University, explains: “Once the gene was silenced, not only did the moms not nurse or lick their baby pups, but they wouldn’t even move the baby mice back into the cage or fight off a strange intruder. In other words, our study shows that, without this gene, the skills to be ‘a good mom’ were lost.” Looky here for the source.

This doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Hopefully this will contribute to an acceptance that not all females are born to be mythical matenal goddesses and that oxytocin isn't the magic mommy potion some people want to make it out to be.

If you feel like you're not cut out to be a mom, maybe you aren't and there's nothing wrong with that. Dont allow yourself to be badgered into it and please, try really hard not to get pregnant.

If you feel like you're not cut out to be a mom and you already are one, find someone to talk to about it. I know it's tough since most people hold women to unrealistic maternal  standards but there are people who understand that some women struggle and that there's nothing to be ashamed of. Seek them out and talk about what's going on and please, try really hard not to get pregnant again.

If you can't get pregnant and come to realize that you're actually ok with that, don't let society or your partner pressure or shame you into believing that you couldn't possibly be ok with it and please, don't "just" adopt.

Do you think all females are mommy material? Could there be a mommy gene in humans?    

This Just Can't Be Happening...Oh Yes It Can

When I used to consider searching for my biological people, mother in particular, one of the deterrents was ending up with two mothers giving me heartburn. Twice the hassle. More family to worry about, answer to. Do I really want two mothers? What if the second one is even more difficult than the first? Well, believe it or not, I found myself in just such a situation this past week.

I'm sitting with my husband and brother-in-law at a nice outdoor  patio, about to devour a pitcher of sangria. The sun is shining, I'm away on a short holiday and this is our first day there.

Part of the reason we've visited at this time is that my biological mother is also visiting this particular city. We've been in touch about getting together and it's supposed to happen at some point. We will arrange something via text once I arrive.

Back to my patio.

I'm rocking my shades, laughing with hubby and bro-in-law, sipping sangria, and soaking up the sun when it happens. My cell phone rings.

That's not supposed to happen when I am away. Who'd call me on my cell when I'm away when I rarely get calls when I'm at home? Home care for my mom, that's who would call. My mom isn't answering her phone, her door, they made an appointment earlier in the morning for that day, would she really forget within a few hours? Hmm, not likely. I call my mom's cell, scrounge for her boyfriend's number then call him, then his cell, and finally reach him. Nope, he'd just been to my mom's and she hadn't answered and her car was there. He'd been told to bring her a loaf of bread but now he was on his way home.

Damn. This is bad. I look at my phone. I haven't charged it since the night before and the battery is lower but not too bad. I call my son to see where he is, can he zip to grandma's to see what's going on? I have a key to her place but it's at my house. Maybe if I call the office of her apartment building they'll let my son in. Better yet, maybe they'll just go in to see what's going on because it's going to take my son a good half an hour to get to my mom's. I tell my son to head to grandma's and I'll call him back. I locate and call the office of my mom's apartment.  They're reluctant to go in but understand that the situation could be serious and saving time could be critical. They will check and call me back.

I check my charge on my battery. Getting lower all the time. I just need it to hang on until the office calls me back. I still need to call home care, my mom's boyfriend, and my son back. I'm trying to stay calm but my stomach is in knots. I am 99% sure something is seriously wrong and as all possible scenarios are swirling in my head, I receive a text. Oh no, I don't have the battery charge for this.

It's my biological mother, returning my "we're here" text I'd sent when we'd gotten into town. What are my plans? Did I want to get together that day? What did I want to do? What were we doing right now? Ugh...this CAN'T be happening.

I start to text back what's going on with my mom, I may have to head back home etc. and it's impossible. Too many details for a text and I can't call as I am waiting to hear back and cannot miss that call. So, I make arrangements to meet up later with bio mom while worrying my mom mom is laying dead in her apartment. Crazy! Everything ultimately turned out alright, my mom did need help but it wasn't life threatening and the visit with bio mom went well but for a moment or two, I couldn't believe that what I dreaded was actually happening.