If you don't care, why not?

I've been reading around and there's some discussion on people making comparisons in adoption, such as comparing adoption to slavery or the Holocaust.

As I read I think about what I could compare adoption to and I realize, it's just not that simple. It's too personal and there are too many portions or aspects to an adoption to make it comparable to much.

I could take a portion of a specific person's adoption experience and compare it to the Holocaust I suppose. The problem though, with a general comparison of adoption to something horrific, is that adoption isn't horrific for everyone who has been involved in one whereas I think in the Holocaust, we can all agree, it is.

It always comes back to credibility for me.

I read stories of parents who have had their babies stolen from them. It's horrific to imagine. I read stories about adopted people who landed in horrific adoptive families and it angers me to my core. I think about how I don't really know the circumstances of my conception and birth, who my biological father is and, if I let it, it pisses me off.

When I talk to my friend who was adopted by a woman who just had to have her little girl and then ended up ditching her with a father who never wanted her, it makes me really mad. I marvel at my friend's resilience, her ability to be a great mom in spite of the fact she herself never had one.

When I look realistically at specific negative incidents, circumstances, situations, or experiences people have in adoption I can get on board with reform. No problem. It makes sense. It's believable.

You tell me adoption as an entity is like slavery or the Holocaust? I think you're hysterical, dramatic, self-absorbed, and/or attention seeking.

I and many other people needed adoption. We needed families who wanted us. There are many people who will need families and never get one. Even a subpar, adoptive family would be preferable to many people who have nobody.

The problem I have with comparing adoption to something universally terrible, to crimes against all humanity, is that for this adoptee, it doesn't compare.

Don't we care what non-adopted atrocity victims' and their descendants' reactions are to these kinds of comparisons? Care what the would-give-anything-to-have-been-adopted's reactions are to these kinds of comparisons? Care what people who are completely satisfied with their adoption experience think? And if you don't care, why not?

You already have each other's support.


It's Ok, Stop On By, It's Not Contagious

So, I've been doing a bit of breast cancer for the past six or so months.

I hadn't really planned to write about it until I saw this documentary and felt inspired to, at the very least, share the doc and draw attention to the website for the Harold P. Freeman Institute for Patient Navigation.

"Successful patient navigation supports those diagnosed with suspicious findings by eliminating barriers to timely screening, treatment, and supportive care of cancer and other chronic diseases. Patient navigation saves lives and improves resolution rates of patients. When implemented at the organizational level within a community, it results in increased efficiencies and improved outcomes"

See, I'm in Canada and I haven't had to pay, nor am I in debt for, one red cent for the amazing care I've gotten and continue to get. I do pay for the Letrozole I am now taking and will be taking for 5 years but thankfully, one of the benefits from my employer is to cover a (significant) percentage of my prescribed drugs. Otherwise, it's about  $100 a month. For 5 years. I could pay for it if I had to and no doubt my budget would feel it, but it's doable. I'm lucky.

After watching the documentary my heart was breaking for those who can't afford to treat their breast cancer, or any life threatening disease, early enough and have no insurance, benefits, or publicly funded health care system.

How does one experience this and also worry about money? There are already so many things to think of and try not to worry about, I can't imagine pulling this off if I also had to worry about paying for my care.

So there it is. You have the links. You know I'm doing breast cancer. If you want to talk about it, welcome.

I've had tons of support, support from family and friends who have and have not had breast cancer but not everyone is as fortunate as me. So, here I am. If you want to talk about mammograms, biopsies (fine needle or core), lumpectomies, sentinel node biopsies, lymphedema, radiation or any other breast cancer related topics on which I am no expert...I'm here if you need.

I had so many people to talk about it all with when I needed that the thought of someone having no one literally brings tears to my eyes.

Feel free to use this post to talk to me, to each other, or just to vent. I will still write a post here and there about this experience, there's one in particular I need to write, a post where I need to talk about my friend who died from cancer in the summer, an old friend that I drew tons of strength from through this insanity. The grace and dignity with which she conducted her battle against cancer left a huge impression on me and little did I know at the time I was learning such a valuable lesson.

Hmm. Life. Doing our best to love and appreciate it while we have it.