Just how much consideration does an employer need to show a working mother?
It's not easy being a working mom, sometimes dad. I say sometimes about dad as it seems like more often than not it's mom who misses work because of the kids. I've been a married mom and have also been single one. I know the problems that arise. Kids get sick, then they make you sick. If the kids are in daycare, holidays become an issue. Add that to the everyday reasons people miss work, and there can be a whole lot of missing work going on. Depending on the type of work setting, it can affect productivity as well as morale amongst co-workers.
Is there some onus on the parents to find employment that is flexible, or work alternate shifts to each other? Do parents have a responsibility to be sure they have back up daycare? Should they make an extra effort to go to work on the days when they feel just a little sick, have a flat tire, or when the weather is nice or not so nice, in case of the inevitable child related emergency where they truly cannot come in to work?
I repeat, it's not easy being a working mom and in some cases dad, but just how much slack is an employer expected to cut parents?
Monday
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I think they should get some slack but sometimes I think a Mom or Dad just has to have other options than missing work all the time. I babysit my grand daughter and they hours flip all over the place and I don't see how most people can handle that. My step daughter told me about one girl who couldn't keep her job because her daycare closed at a certain time. I felt so bad, because she is trying to make a living but they make it impossible for some with all the flip flopping of hours. There has been a few times where my grand daughter could not have been watched by a daycare but we are willing to be more flexible with dealing with hours and illness.
ReplyDeleteI think more companies should pay some sick days. I missed two days of work because I was sick. I wasn't so sick that I couldn't do my job but I work around the elderly so a cold could be bad for them. But it bugs me because when she is sick, I have to work around her. I probably went way off topic.
It's a big topic actually birthmothertalks, so no I don't think you are off of it. I totally agree companies should pay a reasonable amount of sick days. Your step daughter is very lucky to have you! I was fortunate also to be able to rely on family in emergencies.
ReplyDeleteI think employers should realize that their most valuable resource is their employees and taking good care of one's employees is vital to running a successful business. They are the face of the company/organization. They take care of the customers and provide the services etc.
ReplyDeleteI think good employers recognize that good employees with valuable things to contribute to the workplace come from all walks of life. Part of employing individuals with children is meeting them halfway.
I have always thought that, for some employers at least, not wanting to be courteous to employees with children and childcare responsibilities is just another way to push women out of the workplace and have an excuse not to hire them.
That is a tough one. My husband has rarely missed work for any reason other than himself. I initially took my job (because we needed the money) so my kids could be at home with their father while I worked evenings and weekends, and he was promptly sent out of town. Obviously I have very little family support to help with my kids. Put a mostly single mom, 3 kids at home, about 75 I deal with at work, a baby (toddler) at risk of fever seizures together with my shotty immune system and my being a dependable employee is not a given. Somebody here is almost always sick and if anybody is sick chances are I am too. I try really hard not to miss, if I can’t find someone to take my place I take my sick kids with me, which nobody likes.
ReplyDeleteI agree 100% employers should value their employees. It's goes so far in the success of the company. Do employers not have to value all of their employees though? Not just the female employees who have small children? What about the female who isn't missing work and ends up doing her job plus her mothering coworkers job? How does an employer keep the rest of her employees happy?
ReplyDeleteIt is tough Sunday, (your situation sounds extremely difficult) for both and really no picnic for most mothers to have to pick up the phone to call in or face her peers the next day after missing...again. On the other hand, it's no fun receiving that call ...again.
One of the major reasons I don't work is because my husband really can't take off work, so all of it would pretty much fall on me. I don't think I'd be able to keep a job, what with my shoddy immune system and the Tongginator's sick days, planned days off of school, etc.
ReplyDeleteI wish more employers would realize that their most valuable assets are their employees.
It isn't just mom's and dad's these days. Welcome to the world of, what is it called, "The Sandwich Generation?" I don't think that is it-- there are lots of families who have kids to take care of as well as elderly parents for whom they are caring.
ReplyDeleteWe have one Male in our office in this situation-- two kids and both sets of parents often need help. His wife is not able to take off from work often, so it all typically falls on him. There is typically a lot of commentary around the office regarding the absences.
I am fortunate where I work-- I earn 2 hours of sick leave for every 40-hours worked or 13-8- hour days per year. Still if you use a lot of leave as I mentioned about my co-worker-- people still tend to talk.
Yes Reena, you're right, I myself have missed work to do something for my mom. People will always talk, even when there isn't something to talk about (hate that), but sometimes they do have a legitimate beef, when the person missing is actually affecting them directly.
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult to know where the line is between being understanding and supportive and giving one employee special treatment because of their particular circumstance over the rest of the staff.
This is a difficult topic. I chose to quit my job several years ago. It became too difficult with my husband traveling for his job. I know I am lucky to have the choice as many do not. Here are my thoughts: employers should be respectful of working mothers. My employer did allow me to work from home 2 days per week after my first child was born which was fantastic. I felt very supported and it made me work harder to prove that it wouldn't affect my productivity.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, when you choose to have children, you have to make sacrifices one way or the other. Meaning you may not be able to take your dream job if it involves off-hours or travel, etc. Your child may not get to go to the pre-school of your choice if day care is not provided on-site. Here is where I get resentful. As a stay-at-home mom I am often people's "back up". I watch my sister's kids all the time. Why? She doesn't want them at day care all day every day. She wants her son to go to preschool. I often chauffeur other people's kids because they are at work or "running late" or whatever. I'm sorry but other people's work schedules are not my problem. I have 4 kids of my own. It is not my responsibilty to be other people's back up plan. I am always willing to help out in a pinch but I do feel taken advantage of at times. So....I can empathize with employers and/or co-workers who feel they are being taken advantage of by employees who are often out or can't get their work done. If something isn't working, you need to change your circumstances till it is. Don't expect others to come to your rescue whether at work or at home.
I plan to go to work next year when my daughter goes to first grade. Not to a dream job. I plan to be a substitute school nurse. Why that? Because it is flexible. If my kid is sick, I can tell them I can't work. There are no hours in the summer or over break. Because this is what will work for us.
Kris
Kris, thanks. That's another great perspective and I know a little of your scenario too. I drove a neighborhood boy to school throughout kindergarten, which was no big deal really I went right past his house, so his mom could go to work. The reason I was available to drive the kids is because I worked at night, off shift to my son's dad.
ReplyDeleteYou said something that I think is key in all of this, "I felt very supported and it made me work harder to prove that it wouldn't affect my productivity."
I think sometimes this is where people fall off. When they start to feel entitled or simply forget and get used to the fact that they may have it pretty good instead of feeling fortunate, they sometimes come across as taking advantage as opposed to stepping it up a notch like they may have been doing in the first place.
I got a lovely food basket at the end of the school year from my neighbor by the way ; )
Oh and Kris, although yes, to some degree you are lucky you had the choice to quit your job I'm sure you do without some or many of the material things the parents of the kids you drive around or babysit have.
ReplyDeleteCome back and ask me that when we have a national childcare program! Some of these employees getting dumped on for absences would have a completely different situation in Europe. It's all just so fossilized and 1950s. Used to think childcare was exclusively the parent's problem before I had a child; now I see it as an investment in families.
ReplyDeleteJess
How do you see a national childcare playing out Jess, and how does it reduce absences? I know there are already some kind of subsidies available for childcare but not sure of just what people get. I always wondered about getting some kind of benefit for not taking up the daycare spaces for children who truly need it.
ReplyDeleteOnly that regulated high-quality child care covers you in a way that private arrangements cannot. Obviously, it doesn't cover kids being sick but it does address stuff like babysitting falling through, private care not being available because one of the provider's kids is sick or the family's going in holiday or doing something, or the family moves and the business is closed (all of which happened to us).
ReplyDeleteAlso, I just support a national daycare program in theory--and after researching it for an oral presentation, so does DD! Mind you, overall her private experience was wonderful. She talks about it to this day.
Jess
I'm terrified of loosing my job over this issue. TERRIFIED. They've been real flexible, but your right just how much are they suppose to put up with. The schools make it so hard starting at nearly 9 am and closing at 2:40 a full hour away from my office. I cross my fingers every day work extra when I can and figure I was always able to find some way to make the bills when I'd quit an architecture firm over some ethical standard I can no longer afford to maintain now. I'm almost 40 I can't go swing around a pole until I find another day job anymore. Maybe they'd pay me NOT to do it now.
ReplyDeleteIt's a good sign you're aware they're being flexible Marilynn. Some people are not and seem to be almost defensive and long suffering about it all, almost behaving like they're the victim in the whole scenario. I know it's really tough and I can imagine being terrified. I think what I would like to see is the person missing work being understanding of the employer's predicament, working hard to make sure their work ethic and standards are exemplary and hard to replace, and maybe making up some or all of the time they miss when possible. As your manager, don't try and make me feel bad or appear incensed with me that you're having a hard time making it to work regularly.
ReplyDelete