"No one deserves to be hated for who they are"

As a child growing up in foster care I would have given ANYTHING for a home, a family, someone to love me. I prayed for it every single night. I still have a letter I wrote to Santa when I was 8 years old asking for a family. I didn't really believe in Santa as a child, but I wrote to him anyway in case he might be real.

This is an excerpt from a post I've recently come across that I thought was pretty amazing so I asked for permission to share it here.

Check it out on  Percolated Paradox, a blog "On life, love, therapy and surviving foster care".


  1. Campbell, I used to do that too - pray that one of the families would take me and keep me...I was a teenager, almost 13 to 18.5, and I knew that it was useless to pray for things that don't exist...people that want a kid that isn't a baby or a cute little kid, that might be a handful and might swear or be mad....they don't exist.

  2. I know Lori, and I'm so sorry for you and all the other kids who just want someone they can rely on.

    Is it really so much to ask?

  3. @Campbell, I guess so. When I mentioned the idea of adopting or something from foster care...I got slapped down by a lot of folks. The thing is, I really do know what it is like to be totally alone and have no idea how you are going to eat or where you will live. So, to me, their lives are very real.

  4. Slapped down by a lot of folks? Why?

    I mean, who better to relate to a young person than someone who's been there done that?

  5. @Campbell, I believe that adoption is something that can be the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do and that every case should be considered on the facts. Because of the lies and secrecy inherent in adoption as it is today and of the last 60 years, a lot of the mothers and adoptees can't understand why I, a mother, would even consider adopting. So they got very defensive and mean about it.

    I truly believe that someone that knows the score makes a far better parent to these kids, whether in adoption or foster care situations, than someone that thinks they are going to "save" them or help "fix" them. I just know that I would have given anything to have been adopted or at least kept longer than a few months so that I could have done better in school and had a basis for higher learning at a much younger age. As it was I aged out to a garbage bag and a guy that was in the middle of a messy and ugly divorce...and no hope of being more than a low level office employee, housekeeper, or waitress. And absolutely no real safety net.

  6. That's so honest Lori, but I'm not surprised.

    I think it's wrong for people to be mean to you about adopting a young person who's in the foster care system.

    I think it's clear from these recent posts I've linked to that some kids would give anything to have a more permanent family, someone to call mom and/or dad, or mom and mom and dad and dad, whatever. Just someone to give a shit and act like a parent.

    A parent who deserves to be loved and thought of as one.

  7. Wow. Thank you for introducing me to that blog.


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