I find myself suffering from PTSD this morning and I can relate it back to three things that I've been exposed to over the weekend with the first being an episode of Teen Mom I happened to catch last night while channel surfing.
It was a section in which one of the young couples are having another fight with their little girl in the room. The young mom is once again throwing the young father out of "her" house in front of their toddler all the while saying to the little girl "your father is leaving you again" while the little girl cries and at one point looks out the window in what appears to be an attempt to see him as he leaves. This young mom yells and swears the whole time without thought of her child, even when the father tells her to watch her mouth because the little girl is very present. Sickening to witness. Sickening to think of how this will all affect this child, sickening to realize this young mom has no qualms about or is incapable of controlling herself, even in front of rolling cameras. Is this tv program going to get these people counseling?! If they do, will these people take it and do the work? What I witnessed watching this show is child abuse and sadly it's possible the only redeeming factor is the show itself and the fact people are seeing what's going on in this child's life and may help stop it.
I can't help think about all the kids who have no camera crew in their home, no witnesses to the abuse they suffer, which bring me to the second thing causing my PTSD today and it's this sickening incident
Why do these people have kids?!? Why do people who suck as parents feel the need to have MORE kids?!?!
The third is also mind boggling to me. Just what are people teaching their kids? Are they teaching them anything at all?! What kind of examples are given to our kids?!?! What is going wrong ?!
Oh yeah, I almost forgot already. Must be the PTSD.
What's going wrong is PARENTS SUCK!!
Sunday
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Unfortunatley, this will be linked to the fact that the parents are TEENS...which is not the real problem (I know middle-aged folks who behave just as badly). The real problem as you stated....PARENTS SUCK. Not all of them, but a pretty good chunk. American society puts on a great show of happy-sappy family life and perfect parenting while reality is often very different.
ReplyDeleteI suspect this couple is repeating behaviors their own parents displayed. Disfunction passed down to the children...heartbreaking but predictable (and also preventable with a little self-awareness and introspection).
I haven't been watching the shows because of no cable tv. Sometimes with tv though I have to wonder is drama selling? Are they being put up to it? Do they miss all the good moments and right there to film the bad?
ReplyDelete@maybe, if we're going to be honest, being a teen parent CAN be a reason, the problem. Being too young to have the skills to deal with life is an issue. Most teens and young adults are not mature enough to parent well. They need help and lots of it from people who know how to parent properly and can help them financially. People mature later and later all the time. One can't compare a young person of today (in the US and Canada anyway) to a young person of 20, 30, 40, 50 years ago.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, obviously, that it's not exclusive to young parents. ALL AGES of PARENTS SUCK and having kids is not taken seriously enough. If it's not gotten under control, we as a society are screwed.
birthmothertalks...this behavior is so bad that the good moments won't erase the damage being done.
ReplyDeleteAlso, if they allow themselves to be "put up to it" as you say, that speaks volumes in itself!! Could anyone put you up to abusing your daughter for the sake of good tv drama?
I doubt it.
I'm sorry you're experiencing this today Campbell ((hugs)).
ReplyDeleteIn my own personal opinion, if one wants to see responsible teen parenting and appropriate resources and help being given to teen parents, they won't see it on 16 and Pregnant, Teen Mom, or the new docuseries, Baby High.
I think the team-up of Bethany Christian Services, MTV, and the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy is questionable. They don't provide information on the show on how to not get pregnant. They simply tell you how awful it is to be pregnant and be a Teen Mom, with adoption as the gleaming saving grace in the middle of it all, featured in every season. They pay the couples but not enough to make a difference in their lives, meanwhile, MTV gets insane ratings, Bethany gets free advertising, and the National Campaign gets to claim that they're accomplishing something positive.
But it's a conflict of interest. They could choose to help couples get support and be responsible and hope that just as many people would tune in to see that. Or, they can film their drama and enjoy the ratings and publicity they're swimming in.
It's why I steer clear of these three docuseries. It's downright upsetting from any angle you look at it.
I've just discovered a video interview from MTV with the mom in question. It's encouraging to see that in fact seeing herself on video is helping her to realize what she's doing. She says she was surprised to see she acts the way she does.
ReplyDeleteI think it's too easy to dismiss this all as sensationalism and a scheme to paint adoption as "the gleaming saving grace" and I'm just not so sure it doesn't have some benefit to young people.
The link below is of the all the moms in a discussion setting but video #3 is of the mom who I singled out in the blog post.
http://www.mtv.ca/tvshows/teen-mom/video.jhtml
I cant even go near those shows. The adoption ones make me cry, the other ones just make me angry! I think a lot of it has to do with the parents being teenagers. How could it not? There are plenty of mature, capable parents who happen to be teenagers. But their lives don't make for good TV!
ReplyDeleteUnfortuately, the fact that the kids on Teen Mom are teenagers likely DOES have a lot to do with their behavior. The teen brain is still undergoing many changes and the part responsible for impulse control, judgement, decision-making, planning, and organization is sometimes not completely mature till age 25. This is not me being judgmental of them (I have never seen the show), it is just a fact and true of ALL teens.
ReplyDeleteNot to say teens are not capable of being good parents. I'm sure they are but most will need support. Teens are simply not adults. I am a huge advocate of teaching how not to get pregnant in school. It is a matter of public health and of teens understanding their bodies. They deserve that.
And yes, there are many adult parents, adoptive and bio, who are simply terrible parents.
Ya see, this is why I will not parent. Cuz I'd be shit at it! And the poor kid! Good heavens! Why on earth DO these people have kids? If you're a shit parent, and you know you're a shit parent, then DON'T FUCKING PARENT.
ReplyDeleteYeah, this IS child abuse - no question about it. And the sad thing is, it's done for ratings. I sincerely doubt anybody involved with the show has any sort of altruistic motives here. These people will not see counseling or help of any kind. I wouldn't be surprised if part (if not all) of the show/altercation was staged or exaggerated for the sake of entertainment, and with NO THOUGHT at all towards that little girl. Our culture is disgusting that way. Ugh, it makes me SO FUCKING ANGRY.
Side note, PTSD = the suck. Hope you feel better tomorrow.
I'm fine Lia, just angry, like you. The PTSD I claim is tongue in cheek. It really bothers me how people make light of what it really is by saying they suffer from it when it's really just regular stress they're dealing with, that everyone deals with. You're right, my PTSD=the suck.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how shitty a parent you'd be if you're able to recognize shitty parenting. Seems to me the people who have a problem doing the right thing are the people who are either too self absorbed to care or just have no clue what the right thing is.