tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.comments2023-04-13T02:42:31.179-07:00And other ideas and thoughts ....Campbellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13600505149020853906noreply@blogger.comBlogger2038125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-39699505434060140662018-10-28T00:12:58.288-07:002018-10-28T00:12:58.288-07:00I would agree that the word "hypothesis"...I would agree that the word "hypothesis" works better, and is probably more acceptable to a greater number of people affected by adoption. (Note: I did read the book Primal Wound which, in my opinion, was useful in suggesting an hypothesis and validating feelings of those with adoption issues.) Are there any statistics concerning the percentage of adoptees who believe they have a primal wound?Pauline Trumpi Evanshttps://trumpievansauthor175804756.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-82986248509472533062016-08-09T05:45:57.367-07:002016-08-09T05:45:57.367-07:00I think my 82 year old mom is mentally ill and jus...I think my 82 year old mom is mentally ill and just nobody bothered to deal with it. After drastically trying to help her getting a normal life, she chooses to go back to doing the same thing. She has no regards to anyone's feelings but her own. I've cried too many years I want to walk away.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-26855240113761069952015-11-21T12:24:57.133-08:002015-11-21T12:24:57.133-08:00All the best to you too Lisa :)All the best to you too Lisa :)Campbellhttp://campbellscoup.blogspot.canoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-9003880250848133112015-10-09T09:05:00.103-07:002015-10-09T09:05:00.103-07:00Campbell, I am glad to see you are still posting, ...Campbell, I am glad to see you are still posting, and telling it like it is. Best to you and yours.<br /><br />Lisanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-52775953456319161192014-12-08T04:56:43.950-08:002014-12-08T04:56:43.950-08:00I like that! "Primal Wound Hypothesis" w...I like that! "Primal Wound Hypothesis" works for me.Campbellhttp://campbellscoup.blogspot.canoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-85710901789494081752014-11-28T11:14:23.918-08:002014-11-28T11:14:23.918-08:00Neither here nor there, but I'd be careful usi...Neither here nor there, but I'd be careful using the word theory when it comes to scientific terms (even social-scientific terms), because it holds a different meaning than it does in common usage. A scientific theory is a well-substantiated explanation of some aspect of the natural world, based on a body of facts that have been repeatedly confirmed through observation and experiment. Such fact-supported theories are not "guesses" but reliable accounts of the real world.<br />I believe the word you're looking for when referring to the "Primal Wound" is a hypothesis, making it the "Primal Wound Hypothesis". Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-44566328185831624862014-09-23T12:09:41.022-07:002014-09-23T12:09:41.022-07:00I live in California and have parents who are gett...I live in California and have parents who are getting older now and things are unfortunately starting to go downhill. I work full time and have a generally busy lifestyle and wasn’t able to be there to care for them. My father was slowing slipping into dementia and it was getting harder to ensure that they were safe while I was away. <br /><br />The last thing I wanted to do was put them in a home as I knew it would just crush their spirits even further so I went on a search to find alternate in-home care options. I went through a couple of different services but wasn’t really happy with any of them – then I saw an ad online for this company Helpio – they offer in-home care services for practically everything and all their staff is well trained. I can set everything up from my phone and they even offer 8 hours of free care! <br /><br />I’m not sure if they still offer the 8 hours of free care but you can sign up for it here: http://www.gethelpio.net/helpio/ Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-38452569743837648592014-05-23T01:41:24.426-07:002014-05-23T01:41:24.426-07:00thanks for this post. very true. appreciate - as ...thanks for this post. very true. appreciate - as an AP - hearing this said by an adopted person. i agree wholeheartedly. my kids are perfect just the way they are, it is us AP's who need to dela with our stuff to best support& love our kids. we too are a BCLC family like the first poster and believe it is our responsibility to adjust not our kids.JenniferShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09215783538426774051noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-40559330730473410242014-05-21T11:37:09.838-07:002014-05-21T11:37:09.838-07:00I wish you would take my hand today, my precious s...I wish you would take my hand today, my precious son.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-38556260583280335322014-04-28T11:58:14.868-07:002014-04-28T11:58:14.868-07:00It's so naive to think that adoptees search ju...It's so naive to think that adoptees search just for the birthparents. We want to know grand-parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, the whole crew. Adoption didn't just cost us our birth mother. It cost us our whole tribe.Lionesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08248105912379321811noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-79897771949705202952014-03-11T12:25:51.929-07:002014-03-11T12:25:51.929-07:00Great post! Been reading a lot about different asp...Great post! Been reading a lot about different aspects of taking care of aging parents. Thanks for the info here!Guradianship for Aging Parentshttp://www.tanefflaw.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-46144923877326380902013-10-20T16:59:45.427-07:002013-10-20T16:59:45.427-07:00Latest anon, your situation rings very familiar. I...Latest anon, your situation rings very familiar. I'm just trying to see my mom for what she really is and not get my hopes up with her, ever. I expect the worst, sigh in relief when it's better than usual, and resolve to never be like her or allow her to make me act in a way people don't want to be around me.Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13600505149020853906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-90793893602660706552013-10-13T17:47:16.254-07:002013-10-13T17:47:16.254-07:00WOW! I thought I was having a difficult time. My...WOW! I thought I was having a difficult time. My mom has a more passive aggressive way of dealing with everything. She doesn't have the intestinal fortitude to speak her mind directly, but judges and jabs with her nasty innuendos. I'm a middle child whose older sibling is disabled, both mentally and physically, so my mom expects me to be the go-to girl. I lived away for quite a few years and when I first got back I had to really separate myself from her forcefully. I joke that I am too prickly for absorption, but she did her best to do just that. I've recently had to back away from a few things we did together because I find I can't stand it anymore. She is an attention-seeking hypochondriac who can make a routing UTI into a ambulance calling emergency. When I had incapacitating major surgery recently, she did almost nothing to help out, calling only 3-4 times during the six weeks that I could not drive. She also had her own mysterious illness that she used as an excuse. She's pulled this one numerous times before, so I'm on to her now. We really had a rough time last week. I can only hope that she learned from it, but I doubt it. Her only call since then was all sweetness and light. Needless to say I have not returned the call. Right now all I want to do is to move back up north to get away from her. It's a tough thing to admit that I just don't care anymore, but I must or I would not be feeling guilty enough to be writing this. My next major move is to speak with a professional for some much needed perspective. She has always accused me of only loving people who deserved to be loved, and she's dangerously close to finding out for herself that she's right!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-37407950741755518302013-09-21T05:18:00.735-07:002013-09-21T05:18:00.735-07:00Thanks anon.Thanks anon.Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13600505149020853906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-60586995409216986002013-09-21T05:16:51.722-07:002013-09-21T05:16:51.722-07:00I'll never understand parents who are jealous ...I'll never understand parents who are jealous of their own children. I am filled with pride when my son accomplishes something or is liked by others. Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13600505149020853906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-69459048015713679722013-09-16T10:53:15.212-07:002013-09-16T10:53:15.212-07:00Your mother sounds like she may have Borderline Pe...Your mother sounds like she may have Borderline Personality Disorder. I recommend a book, "Surviving a Borderline Parent." It was a real eye-opener for me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-90649552093496308202013-08-11T15:47:43.222-07:002013-08-11T15:47:43.222-07:00I have a mother who has tormented me all my life m...I have a mother who has tormented me all my life mentally and emotionally. No matter what I did... she would find ways to criticize and put down everything I have ever done. I am a mother of 5 and have a wonderful family, husband and career as a teacher. I have never heard this woman give me a compliment on how I keep my home, have raised my children. Instead she has always been ready to criticize and make a big deal of whatever she can...when she sees the opportunity to do so...never the good.. She has always put my siblings on a pedestal over me, especially my brother. Because of this she created a great amount of friction between my brother and I and now he and I no longer communicate because she was successful in destroying that relationship by pitting us against each other with constant gossiping behind my back. I'm pretty sure my mother has lived with an undiagnosed mental illness...she has very erratic behavior...she's incredibly jealous of her own children and others in general and loves to constantly pass judgement on others. I believe this is why she no longer is married to my dad..and because I resemble him in personality and appearance I get the brunt of her nasty behavior. I have tried to be there for her but cannot even have a conversation with her without her throwing something in my face and I just cannot deal with the constant torment. Luckily, she no longer lives down the street from me but has moved out of state to live by my brother but even after two years the phone calls are hard to make and can be very hurtful. I constantly think of never calling or trying to see her again but I don't know if this is the answer. Completely lost. :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-35827795846736452762013-07-29T04:31:10.770-07:002013-07-29T04:31:10.770-07:00"Problem for us adopted kids is that being ad..."Problem for us adopted kids is that being adopted is the perfect get out of jail free card for people like my mother."<br /><br />Word. The Primal Wound is a perfect gift for some adoptive parents.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-33492328788525115262013-07-18T20:29:40.428-07:002013-07-18T20:29:40.428-07:00I know it's not for everyone, but my husband a...I know it's not for everyone, but my husband and I love the Beyond Consequences approach. One of the main ideas is that parents should not try to change their children, but should focus on adjusting their responses and should face their own fears and triggers. I'm sorry it's so difficult with your mom. It sounds like you're doing everything you can.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-48221922156321856732013-07-16T06:12:18.182-07:002013-07-16T06:12:18.182-07:00Hey Anonymous, thanks for the comment. I've in...Hey Anonymous, thanks for the comment. I've intentionally refused to become connected to my mom's boyfriends' kids. Adult kids, that is. Part of the reason for that is what you've described, partly because I have no desire to have to answer for the turmoil she may bring into others' lives. I sympathize wholeheartedly with you, what you're coping with is one of my worst nightmares. Hang in there.Campbellhttp://campbellscoup.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-58072102760045952062013-07-15T16:10:57.783-07:002013-07-15T16:10:57.783-07:00I'm dealing with my 85 year old dad, who remar...I'm dealing with my 85 year old dad, who remarried after my mom died. They were married 55 years. His new wife and her adult children have brought so much turmoil into our lives. They are nothing but golddiggers, all of them. My dad has spent most of his money that my mom and him had worked so hard for. He has bought them jewelry, furniture, clothes, paid her kids bills plus many more things. My dad defends them and his actions. He won't listen to reason. We ( my siblings and I) are the bad kids, and her kids " are wonderful". It makes me sick. So sad to see him live his last few years this way. I have tries everything I can think of.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-73871024764772450312013-07-03T05:58:17.480-07:002013-07-03T05:58:17.480-07:00He sounds wonderful - I'm glad he was your dad...He sounds wonderful - I'm glad he was your dad.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-29264219323065782152013-06-19T17:48:40.865-07:002013-06-19T17:48:40.865-07:00What a wonderful tribute to your Dad. Mine was a g...What a wonderful tribute to your Dad. Mine was a great guy too, and I miss him. Bless all good Dads out there.maryannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-3963650260415776832013-06-16T08:51:07.206-07:002013-06-16T08:51:07.206-07:00"Happy Father's Day to all you good dads ..."Happy Father's Day to all you good dads out there. You rock."<br /><br />I second that. Sounds like your dad was a great guy :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-83130645526794424462013-06-14T03:55:09.447-07:002013-06-14T03:55:09.447-07:00I find it helpful to keep in mind that other famil...I find it helpful to keep in mind that other family are not me, and if my best efforts don't deliver the results I hoped for, it's not because either I or they are wrong, just different. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com