Great news! If your mom didn't want or like you, finally you don't have to take it personally!!
Ana Ribeiro, an author of the study and postdoctoral fellow at Rockefeller University, explains: “Once the gene was silenced, not only did the moms not nurse or lick their baby pups, but they wouldn’t even move the baby mice back into the cage or fight off a strange intruder. In other words, our study shows that, without this gene, the skills to be ‘a good mom’ were lost.” Looky here for the source.
This doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Hopefully this will contribute to an acceptance that not all females are born to be mythical matenal goddesses and that oxytocin isn't the magic mommy potion some people want to make it out to be.
If you feel like you're not cut out to be a mom, maybe you aren't and there's nothing wrong with that. Dont allow yourself to be badgered into it and please, try really hard not to get pregnant.
If you feel like you're not cut out to be a mom and you already are one, find someone to talk to about it. I know it's tough since most people hold women to unrealistic maternal standards but there are people who understand that some women struggle and that there's nothing to be ashamed of. Seek them out and talk about what's going on and please, try really hard not to get pregnant again.
If you can't get pregnant and come to realize that you're actually ok with that, don't let society or your partner pressure or shame you into believing that you couldn't possibly be ok with it and please, don't "just" adopt.
Do you think all females are mommy material? Could there be a mommy gene in humans?
Saturday
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My goodness, they have a gene for everything these days ;-)
ReplyDeleteI don't know if there's a mommy gene in humans, but if there is, perhaps it can get switched on and off according to circumstances.
There are people who feel no urge to have children, and some who positively don't want them. I do think there's a certain amount of societal pressure on such people to parent, and if they give in to it, by the time they realize their mistake it's too late.
There are definitely some people who are better with children than others. If there is a "mommy" gene, I wish I had more of it. Actually, I think I just need the "patience" gene!
ReplyDeleteIs there a patience gene? I need one of those!
ReplyDeleteInstead of trying really hard not to get pregnant, why not get a tubal ligation or vasectomy if you know you really don't want a child.
ReplyDelete[Hopefully this will contribute to an acceptance that not all females are born to be mythical matenal goddesses and that oxytocin isn't the magic mommy potion some people want to make it out to be.]
ReplyDeleteI don't believe all women are "meant" to be mothers. Heck, I don't believe all mothers are loving or have that instinctive maternal feeling. I've seen living proof of that.
However, I think there's a difference in the way we view the term "woman" and "mother." When we talk about how most women will want to get married and become a mother some day, I think that's feminism talking. Old social norms that haven't quite evolved in the face of what society deems "worthy" of a woman's value.
However, once a woman gets pregnant, I think that's a different story. If this woman doesn't want a child BEFORE she gets pregnant, okay great, that's a different issue. And I can totally agree that people who can't see themselves ever *becoming* a proper parent (through experience) shouldn't have had kids to begin with.
But if this woman happens to get accidentally become pregnant, I think this is a slightly different discussion because of the fetus now involved. It's not just *a* woman who is expected to become a mother; it's now a woman who *is* carrying a child.
Does this unborn fetus trump the rights of the woman? I think that depends on the woman and the circumstance.
But overall, I think that's where things get murky.