Lady luck

Spent time yesterday visiting with a special aunt, one to whom I'm very close. She and my uncle were very influential in my teen years and continue to be to this day.

Our conversation wound it's way to parenting, specifically mothering, and we talked about two women we know well who've demonstrated repeatedly that they are far more interested in themselves than in their children. We talked about a couple of other women we know who made the decision to not have kids, something I in particular admire.

Eventually we found ourselves talking about my mothers, and how my mom had again recently asked my aunt if I'd said anything about my relationship with my biological mother. We had a chuckle about that, I of course rolling my eyes as I explained again to my aunt that there's really nothing new, just regular contact via email about everyday things going on in our lives. Nothing I was keeping from my mom, except of course my bio mom's name, something my mom doesn't like and to which my aunt agreed was important to keep to myself if I wanted to continue to keep bio mom's confidence. My aunt had either forgotten or not realized that my bio mom's family knew/knows nothing of me and I went over the story of her pregnancy and relinquishment of me, as she'd relayed to me when we met in October.

So she could have kept you, my aunt asked. Yup, I replied, she sure could have but she didn't want me. How old was she again, aunt asks. Quickly doing the math I answer, 24 I guess.

As we sat there processing all we'd been talking about, mothers who can't or won't put their kid's needs first and my mothers, one who had me and one who raised me, it occurred to me that I was a lucky lady. That given the circumstances of my conception and birth, and the fact my bio mom left me in the hands of people she didn't know, I was fortunate indeed to have as good a family as I did. Things could have been much, much worse.

Of course I still, and always will, roll my eyes at my mother.


  1. I admire your ability to be happy with what you have, not just relating to adoption, but it seems you have an inner peace with your entire life.

    We are now struggling with a son who never seems to be satisfied. Who is never content, never happy. I have been told he is the type of person who could change the world, and that is great. But I would like for one day for him to look around and be happy and content with his lot in life. There is really something to be said for that!!!!

  2. Thank you for sharing your story. It was inspiring to read and, speaking from the perspective of a firstmother, is the type of story that could motivate others to search or to be receptive to being contacted when found.


  3. Kris, it's wicked hard for us as parents when it seems our kids are unhappy. I think people can be content yet not especially happy. Maybe your son's inability to be content at this point in his life will be what drives him to find out what makes him happy.

    The deaths of my brother and dad have had a profound affect on me, both positive and negative. The positive is the realization that this is it, the only life I get, and I want it. Life as we know it is fleeting and can be gone or forever changed in an instant. I now know that to my very core. It also serves as a reminder to me to appreciate the people who truly matter, and to not sweat the small stuff.

    Life is what we make it and I'm choosing to make mine the very best one I could ever have.

    Thank you for the comment.

  4. Gail, thank you for that. If you're right, it would sure make some of those crappy blogging days worthwhile lol

  5. I have enjoyed reading your blog. You seem to see things 1/2 full vs. 1/2 empty. ;)


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