Christmas with the family....the ENTIRE family

I spend a bit of time reading blogs on step moms. After reading and commenting on one rather pertinent post I decided to share some of my thoughts on our Christmas plans. My husband, my son and his girlfriend, my mother and I will be going to Christmas dinner at my stepson and his wife's home. All of my husband's family will be there as per usual, something I treasure
because my own family has become so small and because I truly enjoy my in-laws and getting together with them. The twist this year is that my husband's ex family (including his ex wife) will also be with us.
Although the idea of "killing two birds with one stone" likely had something to do with my stepson's decision to combine the two families this year I'd like to think that it also has something to do with trust. Trust that he has in his dad, me, and his mom. My stepson and his wife were married in the spring and although I'm sure he had some trepidation about the twain having met it was unfounded as all went extremely well with all important parties conducting themselves above and beyond expectations.

I can't speak on behalf of my stepson's mom, so I won't. I will say that I was and am determined to "put the child first" and deal with any of my own insecurities logically and conduct myself with as much class as I can muster. I try to put myself in my stepson's mom's shoes, be open, honest and obliging with my stepson, encourage my husband to put his son's feelings first (our kids don't sign up for multiple families resulting from a divorce) and just generally do whatever I can to make everyone feel as comfortable as possible.

I am not my stepchildren's mom. They have one already and my intent is to treat her with the respect she deserves, the same level of respect I want my stepchildren to show their mom and everyone else who is deserving. This isn't a competition and I'll be damned if I'll let outside forces of any kind make it into one.

I suppose one could say "easy for you to say, you all get along" and that would be valid. It does make things easier when people just try and get along and I plan to keep right on trying.


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  2. I hope it all goes smoothly for you. Your outlook is very refreshing. It is surprising how few people in a similar situation to yourself can make the effort to be pleasant to each other for one or two days over Christmas or at a family wedding so as not to spoil everything for others.


  3. I'm sure it will all go fine. I must admit the nearer we get to the day the more my thoughts wander and I start thinking about what it is that we're actually doing and I also find myself saying to people "guess who we're spending Christmas with". Your comment has reminded me of my ultimate goal to stick with the peace on earth and goodwill toward men! Thanks Glen!


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