tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post8105026811943989599..comments2023-04-13T02:42:31.179-07:00Comments on And other ideas and thoughts ....: Since you askedCampbellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13600505149020853906noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-24708632377787218902011-03-09T17:03:54.421-08:002011-03-09T17:03:54.421-08:00Joy if I were quoting you I would have used quotat...Joy if I were quoting you I would have used quotation marks and attributed it to YOU. I was pointing out the kind of juvenile crap going on around the blogosphere involving Campbell and those who have decided that since she doesn’t walk in lockstep she is fair game and ok to attack. It was a commentary about the “mean girl’ culture I have seen emerge over the past few months. I can unquestionably see how misunderstanding happen… A LOT. I said I would school Campbell if SHE were making comments like that, because I would expect more from her than that.Sunday Koffron Taylorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00859347065249826781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-78679276224463695652011-03-09T10:32:09.927-08:002011-03-09T10:32:09.927-08:00If Campbell said she felt attacked by me Sunday, I...If Campbell said she felt attacked by me Sunday, I missed it. Jess is right, you are misquoting me. I am not sure why you feel compelled to school me on things that I didn't say.<br /><br />I felt Campbell, and perhaps I misread you, that you were personalizing something I said about my abrother who is someone I know v. well irl and someone you have never laid eyes on. I felt like you were putting words in my mouth regarding the primal wound and whatnot and personalizing something that had nothing to do with you. I didn't use the word primal wound, I don't even think of it as theory but rather a book. <br /><br />While I am not aware of Campbell making disparging remarks about my conversations with adoptive parents, people certainly have: http://www.pagan.com/Filks/JoysOurAdmin/ <br /><br />*I never called this author a piece of sh1t either. Not my style. Just goes to show how easy it is to misunderstand people. Such is life, sometimes you just gotta let it go. <br /><br />JoyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-68757391570086788732011-03-07T17:12:45.862-08:002011-03-07T17:12:45.862-08:00Sunday, to be perfectly fair, it was "Jake&qu...Sunday, to be perfectly fair, it was "Jake" and not "Joy" who accused Campbell of sucking adoptive-parent dick. Nonetheless, the taste left in the mouth over certain kinds of comments is . . . unmistakable.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-6285605552069771632011-03-07T15:46:46.319-08:002011-03-07T15:46:46.319-08:00Joy, you put it out there on fmf that your abrothe...Joy, you put it out there on fmf that your abrother was very compliant. You went on to say that he has had difficulties in his relationships and understanding other people as an older person and that you think in large part because he is in so much denial about his adoption issues that it blunts his reasoning on other issues. I asked if this was due to the fact he had a primal wound or because he was in denial about having one. I still believe the question was relevant in light of the many primal wound discussions I've witnessed where you and others claim it doesn't cause adopted persons to have difficulty in relationships. You went on to point out that you weren't that simple of a thinker as well as several other thinly veiled insults.<br /><br />If my question felt to you like I was coming after you, my apologies, I guess I can see how you could get away with the accusation. It's difficult to summon up much remorse though when I think back over the many things I've seen you write that, in my opinion, far more resemble "going after people" than me asking you that question.<br /><br />Sunday, lol, rest assured you did not miss me saying anything like that about anyone around the blogosphere.Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13600505149020853906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-84806626188536163772011-03-07T13:50:19.309-08:002011-03-07T13:50:19.309-08:00I will change it then to, "Campbell has come ...I will change it then to, "Campbell has come after me before" <br /><br />That is fine. I was thinking more when you were on at me about my own abrother and his behaviors. But yeah, the BabyToms thing too, I didn't have a problem with that. I call some people Baby Toms, you don't like it. Fair enough.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-44944229046165467492011-03-07T13:38:55.203-08:002011-03-07T13:38:55.203-08:00Well Joy, as far as I have seen I have never seen ...Well Joy, as far as I have seen I have never seen Campbell posting comments about YOU "sucking dick" around blog land. (If she did and I missed it let me know and I will get with her about how immature I think that is.) But I HAVE seen comments like that made about Campbell by name in conversations that she wasn't involved in. I think she has every right to feel attacked by someone who makes those kind of statements.Sunday Koffron Taylorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00859347065249826781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-46433863353083333032011-03-07T13:36:49.789-08:002011-03-07T13:36:49.789-08:00I published your comment because anon linked to yo...I published your comment because anon linked to you Joy. It's a gross exaggeration to say I "often come after" you. I will though speak out if I see something said I feel is misrepresenting another's words...or if you're calling other adoptees Baby Toms.Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13600505149020853906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-14730709574217556112011-03-07T13:16:16.375-08:002011-03-07T13:16:16.375-08:00@ anon
Right back at you--wtf is your problem? I...@ anon<br /><br />Right back at you--wtf is your problem? I don't even know who Lisa is, she is not one of "you people" what a mischaracterization. <br /><br />I personally have no problem with Campbell's point of view. She often comes after me but usually it is just a misunderstanding of what I wrote. Campbell has every right to her personal point of view. I am quite comfortable with it. <br /><br />As far as I know, Campbell is not-anti access, that would irritate me but how she sees best to deal with her own familial situation would be the only responsible thing for her to do. <br /><br />Good Lord get over me!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-36723787859325010122011-03-07T10:36:04.764-08:002011-03-07T10:36:04.764-08:00Also agreeing with Sunday and Mei Ling on this, I ...Also agreeing with Sunday and Mei Ling on this, I have not seen Campbell shaming or dismissing anyone, just disagreeing sometimes on some issues. There is nothing wrong with that. The problem is not with Campbell but with those who take any disagreement as insult and dismissal and use it as a license to attack.maryannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-83573768505257403722011-03-06T18:17:46.063-08:002011-03-06T18:17:46.063-08:00I agree with Mei Ling, I have seen Campbell have h...I agree with Mei Ling, I have seen Campbell have her own opinion and express it freely. I have seen her not back down from a debate. Since is merely having a differing opinion or life view being “bent on shaming and ridiculing”? <br /><br />We all blog and comment because we all feel we have a unique perspective on things. What a boring world we would live in if everyone thought and acted exactly like us. And how narcissistic would one have to be to think they should?<br /><br />Back to the subject, I have family who I am biologically related to and family I am not. I am living proof that mothers don’t necessarily have a protective bound to their children, and that one doesn’t have to be biologically related to a child to love and raise them.<br /> – thank god or I would have been really screwed!Sunday Koffron Taylorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00859347065249826781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-20771560438160210612011-03-06T08:37:57.386-08:002011-03-06T08:37:57.386-08:00Thanks Mei Ling, I appreciate thatThanks Mei Ling, I appreciate thatCampbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13600505149020853906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-28870623738867632182011-03-05T16:12:41.736-08:002011-03-05T16:12:41.736-08:00Lisa WTF is your problem. Man you know how to spou...Lisa WTF is your problem. Man you know how to spout the words...shaming, ridiculing,...I'm surprised "dismisses and disrespects" wasn't in there too, not that you people ever show much respect to your <a href="http://joy21.wordpress.com/2011/03/04/what-was-the-baby-scoop-era-really/" rel="nofollow">Targets du Jour</a>. <br /><br />News flash: it's ok to disagree with someone and ok to vent. It isn't a personal attack on you. Campbell was asked a question. Here comes your favorite phrase: get over it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-7015083781095992022011-03-04T17:14:15.033-08:002011-03-04T17:14:15.033-08:00Lisa - actually, Campbell doesn't do that. She...Lisa - actually, Campbell doesn't do that. She and I have had very argumentative discussions and expressed VERY strong opinions from opposite sides of the coin, and she never "slammed" me.Mei Linghttp://adoptionparadox.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-36192869065045958412011-03-04T11:19:15.350-08:002011-03-04T11:19:15.350-08:00Oh no you are wrong there. I am very interested i...Oh no you are wrong there. I am very interested in why you are so bent on shaming and ridiculing those who hold a differing opinion.<br />I am also fascinated by the fact that you see yourself as some kind of victim to the adoptees that hold a differing opinion when what I've seen going around is you on the attack, not them.<br />You go on and on about how happy and stable and wonderful you are but you get defensive and angry when someone has an opinion or experience about adoption that is different from yours.<br />People seem to touch your anger button very easily and unintentionally. It doesn't take much to get you going.<br />And as far as shaming and embarrassing you, I doubt that anyone could ever do that. That was not my intent regardless. <br />But I think you know that or you would have answered Marilynn when she asked the same questions I did.Lisanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-26000839561125676062011-03-04T05:52:58.992-08:002011-03-04T05:52:58.992-08:00Great observations Marilynn, thanks. Had Lisa'...Great observations Marilynn, thanks. Had Lisa's intent not been to hurt and embarrass me, as you say, I would have taken the time to actually have talked to her. Don't worry too much though, I doubt she's all that interested.Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13600505149020853906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-17173558620844916302011-03-03T22:26:55.614-08:002011-03-03T22:26:55.614-08:00The thing I was going to say that is similar to wh...The thing I was going to say that is similar to what Lisa wrote was that for someone who says they were not really effected by adoption, you sure do talk about it a lot. You have been deeply effected just not in the same way many other adopted people are effected. Your passionate about adoption issues you simply cannot deny that. So its effected you because you get annoyed hearing other adoptees bitch and moan and speak on your behalf and you felt like someone had to pipe up and balance things out a bit. Her point was to hurt and embarrass you by pointing out what does look like hypocracy; ie you saying you were not impacted by adoption and the fact that you actually have an adoption blog - maybe you did not intend to blog about adoption but you do and its a GREAT blog. <br />So having been on the receiving end of both, what I can only describe as your Irish, and also having had really good helpful conversations with you, I wish you would have given a more better answer to Lisa than "shut up you suck" again you did not say that its just how i interpreted it. <br />She's not wrong about the mad thing either, she chose the wrong word but you have to remember you devoted an entire post once in response to some stuff on another blog being not only the dumbest thing you ever heard someone say about adoption but like the dumbest thing you ever heard someone say about anything ever ever ever. Thats not actually what you said but that is how I felt when I was reading it. It did not make me want to hurt you back or be rude to you. When I wrote in I was nice to you which may be why you did not tell me what I have to say is irrellevant you actually talked to me. I would have liked to see you give a good answer, its a point worth addressing and there is a good answer. You would just have to write it and then she would just have to listen and not be a bitch. <br /><br />Or not, I'm just throwing out ideas. back to my corner.<br />Thanks.Marilynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13960705594201164599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-22712565657396315892011-02-28T17:48:40.977-08:002011-02-28T17:48:40.977-08:00I think this post was so positive. I completely ag...I think this post was so positive. I completely agree with you when you said "being blood related really doesn't mean very much to me. It's actual relationships, connections through family that are important to me." And I really identified with the way you think about your biological mother as another person trying to live her life. I'd like to think that I feel this way about my kids' parents. Thanks for being so open!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-33147753150542822002011-02-28T14:51:44.039-08:002011-02-28T14:51:44.039-08:00mrkmommy..I'm glad you picked up on that. I di...mrkmommy..I'm glad you picked up on that. I didn't share it to protect both mothers actually. To protect my bio mom's privacy and to protect my mom from blowing my bio mom's privacy. It was up to my mom to decide whether she wanted to understand or not, be hurt or not. To be honest, it was my hope she's be pleased to know that I value confidentiality when I've promised it to someone, you know? <br /><br />Of course I would share it if my bio mom was open about me, if there was no secret. Maybe some day : )Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13600505149020853906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-21488538288682034962011-02-28T12:27:31.288-08:002011-02-28T12:27:31.288-08:00Thank you for this post. I am trying very hard as...Thank you for this post. I am trying very hard as an adoptive mother to read with an open mind the thoughts, feelings, and opinions of all adoptees to get a better understanding of where my girls are right now and will be someday. The thing that struck me in this post was when you said that you didn't share your bio mom's name with your adopted mom. I got to thinking that I would be hurt my girls decided that. But then I realized that it is their right. And I need to respect that. Thank you for putting your thoughts out there and for helping me see possible futures so that I can respond in the best way.mrkmommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09180567143667720074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-16688454056043326512011-02-27T15:18:54.897-08:002011-02-27T15:18:54.897-08:00Hi Gail
Yeah I left the link instead of trying to...Hi Gail<br /><br />Yeah I left the link instead of trying to answer Lorraine over on fmf. Thanks for commenting : )Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13600505149020853906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-14166905346822397502011-02-27T15:03:52.578-08:002011-02-27T15:03:52.578-08:00This is my first time here. I found the link over ...This is my first time here. I found the link over at the fmf. I must say that I really enjoyed reading your words. You sound like you're an emotionally well-adjusted individual who has taken charge of her life. I do have several friends and relatives who were adopted and share many of your views. Thanks for sharing your story.<br /><br />GailGailnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-53059807651985712702011-02-27T10:29:38.434-08:002011-02-27T10:29:38.434-08:00Who are you Lisa (I could wager a guess) and who a...Who are you Lisa (I could wager a guess) and who am I mad at? People disagree with me all the time and it doesn't make mad. Thanks for contributing zero to the conversation.Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13600505149020853906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-28345283735501809902011-02-27T10:07:53.090-08:002011-02-27T10:07:53.090-08:00For someone who isn't very affected by her ado...For someone who isn't very affected by her adoption, you sure like to talk about it a lot.<br />And you sure get mad easily when other people have the audacity to disagree with you or share a differing opinion.Lisanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-22596377133606360862011-02-27T09:37:05.084-08:002011-02-27T09:37:05.084-08:00It went something like this... yes, I believe biol...It went something like this... yes, I believe biology can play into that just as guilt, history, low self esteem, loyalty, commitment, responsibility, concern about what others will think, love, or all of that plus combined can play into a parent not letting go of their adult child.Campbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13600505149020853906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5210353425616744235.post-1892470459126389942011-02-27T09:32:41.549-08:002011-02-27T09:32:41.549-08:00Grrr where'd my comment goGrrr where'd my comment goCampbellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13600505149020853906noreply@blogger.com